7 virtues for a life of inner Peace, Joy, and a wealth of spiritual gifts ~ ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ by Robin Sharma

Reasons I let go off my job in one of the fortune 500 companies...

Everything was looking great from the surface - above market role, expat package, international schooling for our boys. But I wasn't happy inside. Felt something wasn't right. I felt signs that it’s not worth continuing....

1. Was the environment toxic?

My work was hampering my mental health, disrupting my sleep, making me impatient with my family members. I was complaining to family and friends about my assignment as I wasn't in a position neither fix my boss/co-workers nor the company culture. I was trying to figure out if my actions were contributing to the toxicity. Instead I was trying to change my own behavior to see if that impacted the behavior of others around me. I then tried to figure out what was making the culture feel toxic and sad to feel that it wasn't fixable.

2. Were my own values being violated?

I was frustrated with elements of my job, which required me to interact with people from various functions and engage them but I couldn't get their attention as per my expectations. It conflicted with my core value. It was important to me to be able to solve complex issues in collaboration with others but then I failed to achieve that with ease that I did before.

3. Weren't my skills being used and developed?

Like others I too wanted to feel like using my hard earned skills and making an impact. The other reason for taking up the assignment was also about developing my skills further to advance my career. By implementing new initiatives and projects the possibility of moving into a larger leadership role at some point was the key ask from the role. But that looked far fetched.

4. Wasn't I given the opportunities to be visible?

Accomplishing my task and getting results were only one part of the equation that added up to long-term success and advancement plan of my global career. But in my case I felt that I wasn't provided with opportunities for visibility through working on high-profile or cross-functional projects, which my key stakeholders weren't privy to. My hard earned capabilities failed me in creating awareness of my personal brand.

5. I was feeling low in energy

When I woke up on Sunday (Monday for most of you outside BD) morning, I was always upbeat and wanted to go back and eager to advance my project works. But then my work felt routine and uninteresting which gradually made me frustrated with other aspects of the role most days. I did everything to reenergize myself, such as sharing my feelings with my boss, raising hand for an interesting new project, new task, change of life style, got into more physical exercise, meal timing including change of menu but nothing worked. Finallyafter a year of intense suffering, I decided to resign and move back to my home country. Bitterness was so high that I promised to myself that I won't work for any global company any more. After that it took me five years to recover from the burnout situation.

Everything was looking great from the surface - above market role, expat package, international schooling for our boys. But I wasn't happy inside. Felt something wasn't right. I felt signs that it’s not worth continuing....

1. Was the environment toxic?

My work was hampering my mental health, disrupting my sleep, making me impatient with my family members. I was complaining to family and friends about my assignment as I wasn't in a position neither fix my boss/co-workers nor the company culture. I was trying to figure out if my actions were contributing to the toxicity. Instead I was trying to change my own behavior to see if that impacted the behavior of others around me. I then tried to figure out what was making the culture feel toxic and sad to feel that it wasn't fixable.

2. Were my own values being violated?

I was frustrated with elements of my job, which required me to interact with people from various functions and engage them but I couldn't get their attention as per my expectations. It conflicted with my core value. It was important to me to be able to solve complex issues in collaboration with others but then I failed to achieve that with ease that I did before.

3. Weren't my skills being used and developed?

Like others I too wanted to feel like using my hard earned skills and making an impact. The other reason for taking up the assignment was also about developing my skills further to advance my career. By implementing new initiatives and projects the possibility of moving into a larger leadership role at some point was the key ask from the role. But that looked far fetched.

4. Wasn't I given the opportunities to be visible?

Accomplishing my task and getting results were only one part of the equation that added up to long-term success and advancement plan of my global career. But in my case I felt that I wasn't provided with opportunities for visibility through working on high-profile or cross-functional projects, which my key stakeholders weren't privy to. My hard earned capabilities failed me in creating awareness of my personal brand.

5. I was feeling low in energy

When I woke up on Sunday (Monday for most of you outside BD) morning, I was always upbeat and wanted to go back and eager to advance my project works. But then my work felt routine and uninteresting which gradually made me frustrated with other aspects of the role most days. I did everything to reenergize myself, such as sharing my feelings with my boss, raising hand for an interesting new project, new task, change of life style, got into more physical exercise, meal timing including change of menu but nothing worked. Finallyafter a year of intense suffering, I decided to resign and move back to my home country. Bitterness was so high that I promised to myself that I won't work for any global company any more. After that it took me five years to recover from the burnout situation.

1. Ritual of Solitude – Spend 15-20 minutes in silence daily.

2. Ritual of Physicality – Nourish the temple of your body daily through vigorous exercise.

3. Ritual of Live Nourishment – Fill your plate with fresh vegetables, fruits, and grains.

4. Ritual of Abundant Knowledge – Read for at least thirty minutes daily. Be specific in the topics you read.

5. Ritual of Personal Reflection – Review each day and identify areas where you engaged with the wrong action. Learn from this wrong action and do not commit it the next day.

6. Ritual of Early Awakening – Rise as soon as the sun is rising. You do not need 8 hours of sleep per night. Instead, improve the quality of your sleep and get up earlier.

7. Ritual of Music – Play some music whenever you feel weary. Music can be one of the best motivators.

8. Ritual of the Spoken Word – Develop positive self-talk to use anytime you are pursuing your purpose.

9. Ritual of Congruent Character – Your habits combine to form your character. This character will determine your destiny.

10. Ritual of Simplicity – Live a simple life with reduced needs. Learn to be content with less.

1. Be Proactive

We often allow our external circumstances to dictate our behavior. Instead, if we take the responsibility for our own decisions and behavior and stop blaming the world for our problems it’ll have a great impact on us. If we want to be more effective, our focus should be on the things that we can actually do something about as this falls under our ‘Circle of Influence’.

2. Begin with the End in Mind

Back in the airforce, as young pilots; we were instructed to prepare and practice a 40 minutes tactical mission for 3/4 hours. In addition, our instructors often said, “You won’t fly the Plane today, instead you’ll fly the Plan, a silly mistake in the air might cost even your life”. There’s no point in getting lots of tasks done in a short amount of time if the end outcome isn't what you really want.

3. Put First Things First

This habit is all about prioritization. We need to figure out the things that are most important and always put them first. Covey categorizes tasks into four categories. First, we should focus on tasks that will have long-term positive impacts and will help us towards our larger goals. The more we focus on these, the fewer tasks which most people mistakenly believe to be the most important.

4. Think “win-win”

When going into a situation with others, many people seek a “win-lose” outcome - every interaction they have whether at work or in their personal lives is seen as a competition. Effective people on the other hand see the benefit in giving everyone a fair share of the pie and fostering positive long-term relationships.

5. Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply,” says Covey. He explains that a lot of the time we don’t really listen to people, but instead project our own situation onto them and assume that what they’re thinking and feeling is the same. We then prescribe solutions to them that don’t really work. We need to emphatically listen to others and get inside their frame of reference to understand them intellectually and emotionally.

6. Synergise

Synergy basically means that if you put two things together, the outcome is greater than the combined total of the two separate components. When people collaborate to tackle a challenge, using everyone’s separate strengths, it’s always better than fighting each other and trying to go it alone.

7. Sharpen the Saw if you want to Keep Sawing

It is all about self-improvement. Your tools may be adequate for the job, but if you never stop to sharpen them, they will become less and less effective. Covey’s key message here is that you need to take care of yourself to stay fit. Give yourself time for reflection and to recharge instead of working flat-out all of the time.

The 4 stages suggest that individuals are initially unaware of how little they know, or unconscious of their incompetence. As they recognize their incompetence, they consciously acquire a skill, then consciously use it. Eventually, the skill can be utilized without it being consciously thought through: the individual is said to have then acquired unconscious competence.

Several elements, including helping someone "know what they don't know" or recognize a blind spot, can be compared to some elements of a Johari window, although Johari deals with self-awareness, while the four stages of competence deals with learning stages.

The 4 stages are:

1. Unconscious Incompetence

The individual does not understand or know how to do something and does not necessarily recognize the deficit. They may deny the usefulness of the skill. The individual must recognize their own incompetence, and the value of the new skill, before moving on to the next stage. The length of time an individual spends in this stage depends on the strength of the stimulus to learn.

2. Conscious Incompetence

Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, they recognize the deficit, as well as the value of a new skill in addressing the deficit. The making of mistakes can be integral to the learning process at this stage.

3. Conscious Competence

The individual understands or knows how to do something. However, demonstrating the skill or knowledge requires concentration. It may be broken down into steps, and there is heavy conscious involvement in executing the new skills.

4. Unconscious Competence

The individual has had so much practice with a skill that it has become "second nature" and can be performed easily. As a result, the skill can be performed while executing another task. The individual may be able to coach it to others, depending upon how and when it was learned.

SPIRE | An acronym that touched me intensely - could perhaps be used by Organisations for proclivity enhancement….

Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD explains this in his book ‘Happier, No Matter What‘

[S] Spiritual Wellbeing:

Spiritual wellbeing is about finding a sense of meaning and purpose. It can certainly be religious, however, it doesn’t have to be. A banker who considers her work a calling can experience greater spiritual wellbeing than a monk who finds his work devoid of meaning. We also experience spiritual wellbeing when we’re present in the here and now, rather than being distracted by the then and there. When we’re mindful, we elevate ordinary experiences into extraordinary ones.

[P] Physical Wellbeing:

This is about the mind-body connection and the impact they have on each other. Physical wellbeing is about taking care of ourselves through activities like exercise and through inactivity in the form of rest and recovery. We nourish our physiological and psychological wellbeing when we eat healthfully and touch lovingly.

[I] Intellectual Wellbeing:

One of the silver linings of the pandemic was that many of us, spending more time at home, had more time to engage in intellectual development. Ben says that people who constantly ask questions and are eager to learn are not just happier, but are also healthier. In fact, curiosity contributes to longevity!

[R] Relational Wellbeing:

The number one predictor of happiness is quality time we spend with people we care about and who care about us. We are social animals and need to connect, to belong. But it’s not just about relationships with others - it’s also about our relationship with ourselves. It’s about finding and allocating ’Me-time’ for self reflection.

[E] Emotional Wellbeing:

It’s about feelings both honoured and balanced. What do we do with painful emotions when they arise, which they inevitably will? How do we cultivate more pleasurable emotions, like joy, gratitude, and excitement? And how can we reside on higher planes of wellbeing for longer rather than merely enjoy temporary peaks?

1. Design Comes First | Every product-management and financial people conceive of products first and then tell the designers what to do. At Apple, it is the opposite. Apple’s emphasis on design is what led to the beauty of Apple’s products, and, undeniably, its financial success.

2. Secrecy is Paramount | Apple employees live in constant fear of termination if they divulge anything about the inner workings of their company. Apple keeps a lid on its plans better than any company its size. More so, its people are focused, freed from the temptation to gossip or play politics - because they don’t have enough information to do so.

3. Forget Revenues | Apple never enters a new field with the idea of making money. It doesn’t ignore revenue, of course. The genesis of a new product segment at Apple never is about revenue optimization. It is always about what kick-ass gizmo. It’s a variant of "Make what you love, and the revenue will come rushing in."

4. Tell Customers, Don’t Ask | Apple delights customers by giving them products they didn’t know they wanted. How could a customer possibly give feedback on a product they don’t know they want? Is this risky? Absolutely. Big risk, big reward.

5. Create One Company, Not Many | Apple is revolutionary for its size in that there are no committees, no separate ad budgets, no fiefdoms. Jobs got the whole company pulling in one direction under his leadership. Just the way a startup would. Think of the Apple brand: There’s just one. And Apple guards it zealously.

6. Say No | Saying no is much more difficult than saying yes. Apple says no not only to products - it waited years to make a phone - but also to features within the products. The lack of a USB connection in the iPad is an example.

7. Value Expertise | Apple laughs at the idea of general management. Why in the world would a company want to “broaden” its executives by exposing them to new things or different parts of the world when they already create tremendous value for shareholders by doing exactly what they’re doing? Apple hires the best in their fields.

8. Own Your Message | When Apple launched the iPod, the executives who were authorized to speak to the news media repeated the phrase over and over again. It’s classic Apple: Craft, control and repeat the message.

9. Spend Whatever it Takes | Apple employees describe their teams as being resource-constrained. But when it comes to making or marketing products, Apple pulls out all the stops. Apple has been behaving this way since it was tiny. No expense can be spared in delighting customers. The return is obvious.

10. Be Insanely Great | A company that believes its products will be insanely great has a shot at making insanely great products. The company that hems itself in by thinking about next quarter’s numbers, some words to describe the products they’ll turn out.

1. Are you a hedgehog or a fox? In his famous essay “The Hedgehog and the Fox,” Isaiah Berlin divided the world into hedgehogs and foxes, based upon an ancient Greek parable: “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.”

2. Those who achieve greatness were, to one degree or another, hedgehogs. They used their hedgehog nature to drive toward what came to known as a Hedgehog Concept for themselves.

3. Those who wanted to achieve mastery in many things tended to be foxes, never gaining the clarifying advantage of a Hedgehog Concept, being instead scattered, diffused, and inconsistent.

4. For those who wanted to be this and that, (i.e. multitalented) the exact same world that had become so simple and clear to those wanting to focus just on one thing remained complex and shrouded in mist. Why? For two reasons. First, the multitalented people never asked the right questions, the questions prompted by the three circles. Second, they set their goals and strategies more from bravado than from understanding.

5. A Hedgehog Concept is not a goal to be the best, a strategy to be the best, an intention to be the best, a plan to be the best. It is an understanding of what you can be the best at. The distinction is absolutely crucial.

6. Every individual would like to be the best at something, but few actually understand - with piercing insight and egoless clarity - what they actually have the potential to be the best at and, just as important, what they cannot be the best at. And it is this distinction that stands as one of the primary contrasts between the two.

7. To achieve excellence requires transcending the curse of competence. It requires the discipline to say, “Just because I’m good at it - just because I’m growing - doesn’t necessarily mean you can become the best at it. ”The achievers understand that doing what you are good at will only make you better; focusing solely on what you can potentially do better than others is the only path to greatness.

8. As you search for your own concept, keep in mind that when the achievers finally grasped their Hedgehog Concept, it had none of the tiresome, irritating blasts of mindless bravado typical of the multitalented people. “Yep, we could be the best at that” was stated as the recognition of a fact, no more startling than observing that the sky is blue or the grass is green.

9. When you get your Hedgehog Concept right, it has the quiet ping of truth, like a single, clear, perfectly struck note hanging in the air in the hushed silence of a full auditorium at the end of a quiet movement of a Mozart piano concert. There is no need to say much of anything; the quiet truth speaks for itself.

10. So, who are you? A Hedgehog or a Fox?

1. Use your intuition and instincts.

2. Establish a comfortable Self discipline in everything that you love doing.

3. Establish other good habits. Start your day early. Use your most productive time and especially, your first hour wisely.

4. Be Enthusiastic and Avoid Distractions. Enthusiasm is a vital key to success. You have to enjoy what you are doing and not merely 'go through the motions'.

5. Make Daily Affirmations. These are short positive statements that you say to to yourself, e.g. say, 'I am on the right track', or 'I can do it'.

6. Emit Positive Energy. It is best to have a positive self expectancy by looking at 'the bright side of life'.

7. A pessimist is one who sees a difficulty in every opportunity.

8. An optimist is one who sees an opportunity in every difficulty. Time for a book on sports psychology, perhaps.

9. Expect Success & Happiness.

10. It's all in ONE'S ATTITUDE TO LIFE. Always bear in mind ... 'the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.' - Walter Bagehot.

11. 'Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.' - John Wooten.

12. Dont be Afriad to Make Mistakes. Don't allow your fears to hold you back and scare you to make mistakes.

13. Break your routines: 'If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got'. Make sense.

14. Spend at least 30 minutes alone each day as me time.

15. Spend time with your mentor. Share your thoughts, ask few questions, talk about your projects and what you wanna do next.